Children and expense

I really used to be one of those people that preached that children were not expensive.  "We cook from scratch, shop at the thrift store and love hand me downs".  I could write 7 articles on how to "afford" a baby, what baby gear is really needed and how to avoid being over cluttered with a new baby.

As I look online there are about 700 articles on how babies don't have to be expensive and somehow that relates to children not being expensive.  Wellllll...I don't think it's that easy.
We live here in paradise and food costs are simply very high.  We eat soups, beans and rice and stretch ground beef with potatoes.  It's still crazy expensive.  People on the mainland just don't get it.  They talk of closeout prices or specials at the store.  There are so many people here that food sells out.  It does not sit around and then go on steep discount! That being said.  I cannot preach that kids are so cheap, because there are 9 of us eating and it's NOT cheap.  At all. 

For a long time I tried to do without extra curricular activities for the kids.  "Let them play" they said.  "Don't keep them too busy, kids just need love".  Ok, well if you live on a farm and the kid can play outside and help plant and harvest and do chores that is one thing, but if you live in the suburbs (or on a military base) and dad is gone all the time kids tend to get bored.  And I can tell you that is not a good thing.  Not to mention having a hobby or love like a sport gives them purpose and yes, builds self esteem.  So we get back to cost of children...

A couple of my children are talented athletes.  We play base and local leagues which are really affordable.  Then they got frustrated because the other kids are not at the same level and don't seem to care.  So we found a club team.  Big bucks.  Do I say "no"?  No...because my child works very hard at this sport and shows talent.  Also, I want them to have the option to play these sports in high school and not sit the bench the entire time.  It's going to take time, lessons and money.  I looked up how to save money on kids' activities and found exactly one article that basically said 1. Kids don't need so many activities and 2. Lower level leagues are cheaper.  Thanks pinterest...that helps so much. 

Should I say no to music lessons?  What about ballet?  Preschool? 
Are these needs?  No.  But I am coming to realize they can be really important in my child's development.  I have big regrets not getting quintin into sports or martial arts when he was younger. 

We are blessed that Quintin has a job.  He pays for his own boy scout camp, clothes and bowling with friends.  Sometimes I feel bad, but it really does help our family out.  And honestly...it gives him a sense of ownership and helps him understand the value of a dollar.  He knows how hard he had to work to earn the money.  I really pray that each of our children have an opportunity like this to earn their money at a worthwhile job.  Which helps their family in the process. 

I'm conflicted with all this.  We have been trying to save for a house, but I also want to take them to private hitting lessons.  It's hard.  Six years ago the young mom of 5 would have said, "Kids just need love and to hike in the woods".  Now I'm not so sure. 

So they're not cheap.  Doesn't mean they're not worth it.  I'm so thankful for my husband's steady job and that we've been blessed to find close activities so far.  I have to admit I trust that the Lord will put the opportunities for the children that they need in our path.  And I have told them that hard work will go a long way in making up for the lack of camps and special leagues.