After a very rough Friday, we had a wonderful Monday yesterday! It was such a relief to really enjoy my children and focus on them. After talking with Dan, I decided not to go on facebook at all during the day when the children are awake. This helps me to really focus on them and not to see them as a distraction. Facebook was actually the distraction, but I didn't want to admit it! Morning, nap time and after bedtime leave plenty of social time for me...no reason to do it when the kids are awake. After reading a blog post by Brandy, I did some thinking about really listening to my children. The change it made was amazing. I looked at them when they talked to me. I responded to them in a slow and calm matter as opposed to a rushed "i need to be doing other thing" manner. I enjoyed listening to them and being with them. One of the hardest things was to concentrate on being with my children. I have a tendency to think about other things that I should be doing/would like to be doing when I'm playing with my children. Purposing to live "in the moment" with my children is so necessarily! While kicking the ball with Mareea I made sure to encourage her, enjoy the cute looks on her face when she kicked and not think about anything else but playing with her. Does that make sense?
In reading the Mission of Motherhood I was reminded that our children do not need us to be perfect and avoid any problems, what they need is for us to be calm and positive when problems do arise. If I as the mom melt down and get upset, they feel that they've done something wrong and feel badly, but handling things with grace and patience gives them security and comfort. This is certainly not how I naturally deal with issues. If mareea gets a big blob of ketchup on her clothes from knocking her plate on herself, my first reaction is to be frustrated with her, mad at everyone for not remembering to put the tray on her high chair and yell something about how a load of laundry costs a dollar and that stains don't come out in our stupid HE washer. Obviously, this is NOT the way to respond to something that was an accident. Instead, I'm striving to calmly say, "uh oh, let's get you cleaned up" and smile and move on with life.
The challenges of moving, sadness from leaving our friends and a new, smaller living space make being joyful difficult. However, God tells us to "be joyful always" and to "do everything without complaining or arguing" and if I can model these things to my children I pray that they will follow.
1 comment:
I'm glad you are feeling more encouraged. You've been through a lot of changes lately, but I guess that's mothering, isn't it? :-)
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