Today I took the children grocery shopping.  It was so much more crowded than I anticipated, but I wanted to get it over and done with so we went in anyway!  While I was there, a woman came up and loudly asked, "are they ALL yours?"  When I told her they were she stood there staring with her mouth open for several seconds and then commented on how wonderful it was.  This happened 3 times.  The third time we were trying to walk into the NEX and the lady was in the middle of the street blocking our way with her mouth hanging open. 

I.hate.it. 

It makes me so uncomfortable to have people staring at me or noticing me.  Even Gid's baptism made me want to be swallowed by the earth...and all I was doing was standing there!  Having a large family means people stare all the time.  Sometimes I meet older women who had large families and I always enjoy having them tell me how wonderful it was.  Other times I meet people who literally shutter when I answer "yes, they're all mine" and make horrible comments about how I'm crazy and they'd pull their hair out if it were them.  Helllloooo...my children are standing right here!  Don't they know that it might hurt their feelings to hear other people say things like that? 

We've been visiting churches at our new home.  Sometimes I want to cry afterwards.  Why can't I just be treated like another mom??  Why can't other moms just say "hello and welcome...want to have coffee sometime?"  Instead they stare at me like I'm some sort of freak show and comment (over and over) about the size of my family or the fact that I home school.  In this area of the country there even seems to be some disgust over it.  And I'm fairly certain that I will never be invited to a play group (or invited to anything) because of it. 

I would never in my life look at someone and say, "You only have 2 children??  That's crazy!  It must be so boring at your house?  Don't you know what you're missing?"  or  "You send your kids to public school to be in a class with 25 other children and taught by a stranger?!?!"  I would never say these things because that would make me a nosey, judgemental, know-it-all!!! 

Genuine interest is different.  If someone really want to know how we organize our day or what homeschooling is like I love to tell them!  I like to share how wonderful a big family is and how we feel so blessed to have each and every one of these children.  But I find most don't really want to know...they just want to stare and make dumb comments. 

But of course there is a silver lining.  My children get to see me respond to these people.  To smile and them and tell them, "yes, ma'am, they're all mine" or "we don't have a full house yet, but we're working on it!" or "I just really love babies!" or "God has blessed us". 

Thanks for letting me get that out.  God has called me to this lifestyle and I do my best to bring Him glory with it...but it is not always easy!