Maybe it's the wooden floors or that the house is old. Maybe it's a few months of living in a small home. Maybe it's having a large family. Whatever it is, I dislike "stuff'. Having random toys, pencils and papers all over the place really puts me in a funk. Yesterday I spent some time picking up the living area of the house. Normally, I don't do this. It's the children's job because, honestly, they make the mess. For whatever reason, I did it yesterday instead of asking them to do it. As soon as the mess went away, my peace came back. I was able to be calm and talk in a kind, quiet voice. When I was a mother of "only" two and three children I had an interesting way of dealing with chaos. When the kids would start to act wild or melt down, I would run around and straighten up the area we were in. It was only after I had picked up the room that I could start to deal with the children. Isn't that funny? Six children has gotten me over that funny quirk, but it reminds me of my inner need to have an organized, controlled home.
So when our things come on the huge moving truck on Friday I have plans to make this hard wooded, historical house a simple, organized and peaceful place to live. I'm not sure how drastic I will be, but I have a feeling there will be boxes upon boxes of things purged. I don't want hundreds of homeschool books and a huge library...the public library a mile away can store those books for me. I don't want shelves of toys lining the wall...the beautiful tree outside and the crayons and paper should suffice.
A funny thing has happened since we've been here. I've learned what brings me peace. (Now, of course, true peace only comes from Jesus Christ. The peace I'm talking about is a feeling of calm versus a feeling of excitability.) Over the years I've tried to decorate. It was always a source of bad self esteem and embarrassment for me. I just felt horrible about my lack of skill in that area. I'd try and get things that were "in style" and would impress others if they were to come by and see my home. It just never seemed to work. The walls looked too bare or too cluttered, the the furniture looked boring and I never felt happy with any of it. When we got here we went into a consignment shop and I saw a kitchen table. It was simple and wooden...not glossy or fancy. I loved it. It made me feel calm. We bought the table and I love seeing it in our dining area (when it's cleared off of course). I also bought a picture. It is not in style or trendy, and in fact it's probably outdated...but I don't care. I love it and it makes me feel peaceful. Same thing with fabric. I used to buy brightly colored, trendy fabric that jumped out at me. But I don't want that anymore! It goes out of style by the next season and it's tires me to look at a room full of it. Simple small flower prints or solid colors are so much more calming to the eye. And my house will be decorated to please my family and me...not anyone else. I think I will like it so much better that way.
I hope the next step will be in our wardrobes. When my children are dressed nice I "like' them more. It's sounds silly, but for whatever reason, they just seem like nicer, respectful children then when they have shaggy hair, untucked shirts with super heroes on them and ripped jeans. A little girl in a sweet t-shirt dress or jumper or a little boy with a polo tucked into his jeans makes me calm. An internet friend of mine had a great way of simplifying her girls' wardrobes. She had 5 daughters. She made them each five reversible dresses and that's all they had (besides underthings and PJs). How simple! They looked beautiful in those sweet dresses, matched each other, were modest and didn't give their mama a panic attack with a hamper full of laundry. I don't know if I could be that extreme. I love the idea of it, but I sure do tend to talk myself into buying cute things at the thrift store for a dollar!
If you actually made it this far in this blog post i congratulate you! It's probably been quite boring, but it's what's been on my mind lately.
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